Wednesday, 18 January 2012

New book...

... And its been written by me!

That's right, today marks the official release of my new ebooklet Get Real.

Its the first thing I've published for the escape artist community and I'm really quite excited about it.

To find out more please go to www.roslynwalker.com/forsale, I really hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed putting it together.

Talk Talk... Several reasons to go elsewhere

.... And welcome back.

For those that have jumped straight in to this post I recommend going back and reading the one before this otherwise it may not make too much sense.

For those that have just come from there, welcome to the second installment.

There is a big reason why it has taken me a month after getting an address to finally get back online and that big reason is Talk Talk.

My wife, being the organised gal that she is, contacted Talk Talk about installing a phone line in to our new house so we could get broadband. They told her it would only take 3-weeks for an engineer to come round.

Now ordinarily 3-weeks would be a long time. But since Christmas and New Year was in between I felt 3-weeks was ok. Not great, but could be worse.

3-weeks came and 3-weeks went. And then when it had been nearly 4-weeks an engineer finally arrived.

Oh, that was after they'd given me the very specific time of "he'll be round at some point between 1pm and 6pm". Great, I've got to wait in all day.

And wait in I did.

He arrived at 5pm.

The engineer had a look around and said "sorry mate, I can't do anything today because its dark and I can't climb up the telegraph pole in the dark." with that he left.

Great. What a waste of an afternoon.

We then phone Talk Talk and they tell us the engineer had reported the visit as a non-entry. So basically said he couldn't gain access to my property. A complete lie because he did come in and we had a lovely chat about brandy of all things.

They also said the next appointment for an engineer would be in a further 2 weeks. 2 WEEKS!!!

To cut a long story short my wife (what would I do without her?) contacted O2. OMG these guys are brilliant.

They too couldn't send an engineer round for another 2 weeks, but in the meantime they have supplied us with mobile broadband. Which brings me to today, back online thanks to the geniuses at O2.

Oh and the line rental + broadband was cheaper every month than Talk Talk anyway. So I can safely say that Talk Talk have been well and truly cancelled.

So much to tell you and so little time...

Its the middle of January of the New Year and I'm finally back online!!!

So much has happened between my last post and this one its difficult to know where to begin. I guess the start is as good a place as any.

As regular readers of my blog will know I moved house at the end of October. When I say moved house, what I actually mean is I packed up all my stuff in to a massive van and left my flat in London... And then unloaded all my stuff in to a storage unit in Birmingham.

That's where my stuff stayed until the 20th December when my wife, the saint that she is, found us a house and moved all our stuff for the second time out of the storage unit and in to the new place. Somehow (and this is knowledge known only to wives) she managed to get everything unpacked and sorted out in time for Christmas!

I'm talking a lifetime of magical paraphernalia, all the junk that every couple thats been together for a decade seems to collect, furniture and other nonesense all taken from the unit to the house and packed away. And done WITHOUT OUR VAN because I had it!

Not only that, but she also managed to set up the Christmas tree and erect all the other decorations as well as getting down the shops and buying all the Christmas food. And I'm talking big traditional Christmas dinner with all the trimmings.

Oh, and she continued to work 9-5 whilst doing all this.

Talk about legendary.

Where was I?

A good question. Whilst all this was happening I was working with my good friend Chris Williams (who's known to the world as Harley the Clown) at a grotto in Liverpool. And yes, before you ask I was playing the jolly fat man himself. Chris, if anyone's interested, was an elf.

We started in November and over 8000 children later we finished on Christmas eve.

For those unfamiliar with the geography of the UK, Liverpool is a 2-hour drive away from Birmingham when traffic is good. Christmas eve isn't that well known for having good traffic and so it took me closer to 4 hours before I got home.

But get home I did and my loving wife had created the perfect Christmas.

Hang on a minute, Christmas was nearly a month ago. Why's it taken you so long to get online. Well that's the topic of my next rant. In fact it's such an important rant that I'm going to give it its own space.

See you in a few moments.........

Saturday, 5 November 2011

A little bit of press...

So a couple of weeks ago I had a phone call from Sophie Walker (no relation) from the award winning student newspaper Nouse completely out of the blue.

This article (http://www.nouse.co.uk/2011/11/03/the-great-escape/) is the result of that conversation.

I won't dwell on what's said here, only that I hope you enjoy it. If you do, please feel free to leave a comment.

Thursday, 3 November 2011

Protecting freedom of speech...

If you haven't heard yet, a French satirical magazine was petrol bombed yesterday destroying pretty much everything.

It happened just 24-hours after they published a picture of the Prophet Mohammed on their front cover and named him as editor.

If you've not read it yet you can find out more from the BBC here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/mobile/world-europe-15550350

So it's believed that the reason this magazine was quite literally burnt to the ground was because of this image. Now I'm not a religious man. I don't believe in any form of God or other "higher power". But I do believe that people should have the right to believe whatever they want.

I have no problem with people preaching their beliefs in public. It doesn't bother me in the slightest if people want to give me leaflets or knock on my door and tell me about their God.

But when people start fire bombing others in the name of that God it really ticks me off!

Yes they were offended. Yes it goes against Muslim law to show pictures of the Prophet. But look around at where you are.

This happened in Europe. The heart of the free-thinking World. A place where we have human rights, freedom of speech and equality no matter what your religion, creed or sexual orientation.

Europe isn't perfect, but I'm proud to be a European. I'm proud to be part of a melting pot for ideas from 26 countries that have 26 different views.

We ALL have the basic human right to think what we want and say what we like. Some will agree and others won't. But that doesn't mean it's ok to turn to violence if you feel offended.

I'm an atheist. But I don't go getting all up tight when Songs of Praise comes on the telly preaching Christian nonsense (to me it's nonsense). I don't go and fire bomb the BBC for broadcasting a programme that in my view is a lie and complete rubbish.

And you know what, I'm allowed to say I think it's complete rubbish just as much as my Christian friends think my atheism is complete rubbish because we are all free-thinking Europeans with different opinions.

I don't destroy my best mate's house because he owns a bible and he doesn't destroy mine because I lived with my wife for 10 years BEFORE we got married.

Nobody got hurt by this image being published and luckily no-one got hurt due to the fire bombing either.

If you can't cope being in a place that gives everyone the right to free speech just move to a country that better suits your needs. There are plenty of places that opporates without them, I'm sure they'd let you in.

Wednesday, 26 October 2011

... Worse than packing!

I know this is my weekly rant, but I just can't keep this quiet until next week.

I HATE THEFT!

Now I'm not talking about breaking in to someone's house and taking their TV, I hate this too, but in my opinion theft of artistic ideas is even worse. Especially if you're stealing from a working professional and using their ideas to make money yourself.

Stealing the ideas from anyone who works in the arts is essentially the same as stealing a farmer's tractor, a vintner's grapes or a chef's recipe. Without them they just can't work. Its diabolical and I truly detest anyone who takes something that isn't theirs and use it as if it was.

Why has this come up now?

Well earlier this week my friend Dan over at Lebanon Circle told me he'd suffered from intellectual property theft and how he's frustrated that there's next to nothing he can do about it.

For those that don't know Dan is an artist and creates awesome props and special effects for the performance industry. His ideas are simply that, HIS ideas. No-one has the right to take them and sell them as their own.

This really pissed me off. But, as you know from my earlier post, I had a load of packing to do and that kind of took over my week.

Then earlier today whilst surfing Facebook I noticed yet more theft!

I couldn't believe it.

Earlier this season I worked with a couple of very talented circus performers and their act involves being brought on as a clockwork doll. Now I know this isn't completely original with them. I know others have done clockwork characters before. However, their act and costume design came from their own creativity.

Their act isn't a direct copy of someone else's work.

However another performer from that same show has suddenly started working as a clockwork doll. Not only that, they've started working as a clockwork doll that looks very similar to those I worked with before.

In fact if you put them in the same gig together they look similar enough you'd think they were all part of the same act.

I think anyone who blatantly steals from another artist is the lowest of the low.

No, scrap that.

That last sentence makes out like those thieves are also artists. They're not. They're thieves.

I think anyone who steals from artists are the lowest of the low.

If you can't create your own material or can't afford to pay to have an artist create material for you then you shouldn't be in the creative arts. Do something else. Do anything else. I don't care what you do, just stop stealing other people's stuff.

If you've seen something you really like and that particular artist won't sell it to you LEAVE IT ALONE!

If you still think its ok to steal other people's stuff watch this video from Dan. You have been warned....


Tuesday, 25 October 2011

As one door closes another opens

I hate packing.

I dislike many things; ironing, doing the dishes and making the bed being the first three that spring to mind. But there are very few things I actually hate in this world. Packing and moving house is definitely one of them though.

For those of you that know me this may come as somewhat of a shock. Since moving out of my parents home at the age of 20 I've lived in no fewer than 12 different "homes", one of them being a static caravan with paper-thin walls in the middle of November.

When you've got ice forming on the inside of your windows that's a pretty good sign you probably should start looking for somewhere else to live... In fact its a pretty good sign you should find anywhere else to live.

But despite living in 1.2 properties per year for the last 10 years, or to look at it another way spending an average of just 10 months in one place, I am moving yet again. And as I've said with each of my previous moves this will be the last time.

Of course I don't actually believe that. But I'm hoping my nomadic 20s will be replaced by a more settled decade that will be my 30s. I am now a married man after all and I need to start thinking about married man stuff. I'm not completely sure what that stuff is, I've been married just over a month, but I'm pretty certain it all starts with putting down roots and having somewhere to call home.

As I sit here in my flat surrounded by half packed boxes and half empty book cases I wonder where I'll be in 12 months time. Will it be worth spending the next year unpacking my stuff only to have to re-pack it all again to move somewhere new?

Its a question only time will answer. But for now I'd better empty the rest of those shelves... I hate packing!